Motivational hedonism is the claim
that only pleasure or pain motivates us.
It is the most significant form
of psychological hedonism.
Normative hedonism is the claim
that all and only pleasure has worth or value,
and all and only pain has disvalue.
Jeremy Bentham endorsed both sorts of hedonism.
So don’t be the Manic Pixie Dream Girl –
you’re the Blandull Housewife, motherfucka!
Anything else is inappropriate and disingenuous.
And, get a boyfriend, a throwaway,
and all the singles, your Dar(jee)lings,
will come out of the woodwork.”