“People don’t change.”

 Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner:

While your IQ, which is sort of language logic, will get you behind the desk, if you don’t know how to deal with people, if you don’t know how to read yourself, you’re going to end up just staying at that desk forever or eventually being asked to make room for somebody who does have social or emotional intelligence.”

I lost my mojo three years ago, if I ever had it.

I lost my charm.

I lost my luck.

I lost my intuition.

I lost my instinct.

I no longer smile.

I only see my defects.

I am no longer photogenic.

I have endured my body falling apart twice – and I am having trouble healing.

I am now a triumph of

  1. anxiety
  2. unease
  3. fear
  4. disquiet,

a conquest of

  1. denial
  2. rejection
  3. dismissal
  4. elimination.

I don’t know how to talk to people now.

I don’t know what to say.

No one talks to me, and if I speak – I say it wrong.

I am a victory of retard pariah social death, and I will go no further and farther unless I learn the basics.

I will not get a date.

I will not have friends.

I will not get a job.

I will continue to have bullshit power, no money, no love, and scarce recognition.

I am a failure.

I will lose.

I have no faith.

I have no hope.

I have no confidence.

I have no fight.

I am no longer human.

I am just a shell whose heart and brain won’t just shut down.

And I have no answers.

And no one cares.

I am oblivion.

God, please let me not wake up tomorrow.

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